Love For All, Hatred For None

[Note: The Ahmadiya Muslim Community in Oshkosh invited Mayor Lori Palmeri and other distinguished Fox Valley leaders to speak at their 2023 Iftar. Mayor Palmeri could not make it, and she asked me to attend in her place. The Ahmadiya leaders graciously asked me to say a few words. Below is a transcript of my remarks.]

My name is Tony Palmeri. I’m a professor of Communication Studies at UW Oshkosh and former  member of the Oshkosh Common Council.

My spouse Lori Palmeri is the Mayor of Oshkosh, and she was recently elected as the Representative in the State Assembly for this 54^th District.

Unfortunately, she could not be here tonight due to a prior commitment—she is at an event honoring firefighters in our community. Her term as Mayor ends on April 18^th, and she will not be returning to that position. She asked me to remind you to vote for a new mayor and council on April 4^th!

Mayor Palmeri sends her greetings. She wants me to tell you that she has always respected and admired the Adhmadiya Muslim community, and her respect and admiration has grown in her four years as Mayor.

She is especially appreciative of your spirit of openness and tolerance, of your support for the city’s diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives, and your deep commitment to the values of family, community, and civic engagement.

Most of all, Mayor Palmeri has been moved by your profound and simple message: Love For All, Hatred For None.

The Mayor and I try to live that message, but like all human beings we sometimes fall short. We all fall short at times, don’t we? In a world filled with so much negativity, with so many bad faith actors trying to keep us divided, it is sometimes difficult to remember that we must always have love for all and hatred for none, even when there is so much pressure moving us off that path.

In Oshkosh we are blessed to have YOU to remind us of that profound and simple message. Love for all, hatred for none.

And you have had impact. Allow me to share with you just one example. In 2010 I was on the Oshkosh City Council. That was the year the city received your request to turn this building into a house of worship.

When your request became public, members of the City  Council started receiving phone calls, emails, and other communications. Much of it expressed concerns about noise and traffic congestion and other things that were sincere and certainly not trivial, but did seem exaggerated.

As I started communicating with people who were expressing concerns, it became clear to me that what we were at least in part dealing with was a fear of Islam, which was not surprising given the political climate of that time and the mostly irresponsible media coverage of Muslim people in the first decade of the 21^st century.

As the date of the vote on your request got closer, much of the communication the council was receiving got more angry, and some of it had a bullying or threatening tone. One person approached me in the grocery store and said “if you vote for the mosque I will never vote for you again.” I know some of my colleagues on the council received similar communications.

But your demeanor in those days inspired me.

Even though your motives were being questioned, you did not respond with anger even though it would have been understandable had you done so.

You had the facts and the law on your side but did not immediately threaten lawsuits, even though it would have been understandable had you done so.

You did not refuse to meet with anyone, including people making irrational statements, even though it would have been understandable had you done so.

Instead, you went out of your way to address every concern and to accommodate concerns in whatever way possible.

No matter what was thrown in your direction, no matter what obstacles were placed in your path, you responded with love for all, and hatred for none.

So, in 2010 in our own little corner of the world, right here in Oshkosh, we had a contest between fear and love.

And love won.

Love won.

I believe Love can and must win at the global level. The peace and security that we all seek is not possible without love.

But the victory of love is not inevitable.

We must act. We must act.

For love to win we must practice what political theorist Danielle Allen and others call political friendship. Political friendship is not a shallow display of civility.

Political friendship means treating all human beings, even strangers, as we treat our closest friends. With our closest friends we act in good faith, we listen, we take turns, we compromise, we problem solve, and most importantly we sacrifice individual preferences for the greater good.

If we can practice that kind of friendship with ALL human beings, then love will win. And we can have the peace and security we crave.

I want to close by thanking you for the friendship you have shown Mayor Palmeri and me, and for the friendship you’ve shown the entire community,

Representative Palmeri wants Oshkosh and Wisconsin to be known as places that stand for love for all and hatred for none. She looks forward to partnering with you to make that happen.

Thank you.